Dexter Dog Diary, Week One, Wednesday
Wednesday (çarşamba, chaR-sham-ba, 10 mart, 2010)
After such an odd, misty, day yesterday, it is nice to wake up to a bright, clear, morning. I should have suspected: we only took the minimal walk first thing. Then, after their breakfast there is a knock on the door and there stands Helen in; wait for it… walking boots. By the time they have all had a cup of coffee I have decided that my gimpy leg is playing me up. Sadly, there is limited sympathy (none at all, actually. I have definitely been rumbled with that ploy) and we set off towards the beach.
If I thought X and Y were nature-nuts, I hope I am forgiven because Helen is the mastermind behind the natural world. The sort of thing that I might happily piddle on seems to grasp their awe-inspired attention. And those multi-coloured things that flit about in such an unpredictable flight-path that I have to be dead lucky to scoff one (incidentally, they taste awful, so I don’t bother any more); these creatures must be pretty dim. I remember when I was a puppy, my humans used to laugh fit-to-bust when I chased my tail. Now this lot is all gaga about something that will eat its tail! Swallow-tail Butterflies, I ask you. Just when you think they have plumbed the depths of stupidity, humans can still surprise you!
Finally, after the delights of the meadow, we reach the sea. Helen is charging off ahead. I have not yet twigged that this is her normal behaviour, so I make sure I stay close to keep an eye on her. Blimey, we are going over rocks you would not believe. Although I say it myself, I am pretty nimble for my age, but I make a false step and tear my dew-claw. Of course, I make sure that everyone gets a good look at it and this time I do get the appropriate amount of sympathy. It also takes my mind off the other front paw that has been bothering me for a few days. Earlier they said that the sea water would be good for that injury – now I have two duff legs!
To give you some idea; I was going to say; “…how difficult the terrain is”, but it could equally go to show how daft he is… he has found, and is using, another stick. It is bamboo again, but this one is much longer than he is tall, curved, and, at its big end, thicker than my front paw. Fair play though… with a new injury to one of my four legs, I should not mock a mere biped for using two sticks.
Back at base, after they have all fed and the females have consulted various nature-study sources to identify flowers, butterflies etc., they start to discuss my condition and I even hear the “V” word mentioned. I will admit, I have been feeling a bit peaky, but this is taking things too far. As soon as the females go off in the car, I start to do some serious licking of wounds!
Meanwhile, he starts more of his “techno” stuff, as I call it. This time, he is not satisfied with the working of the front door. I saw him squirting stuff into the moving parts and got the impression that everything was working OK, but not well enough for him! On and on he goes, trimming and adjusting until way beyond my tea-time. Even the arrival of some workmen to collect the key for the downstairs apartment does not jolt his sense of priorities back onto the correct course. Eventually, he looks at the clock and, amid obsequious apologies, serves my tea. Food at last! He gives the door a final “tweak” and a smug grin of satisfaction creeps over his face. “Smooth as silk”, he mutters.
Mercifully, the evening walk is short. But, his success with the door seems to have gone to his head and he is riding the “litter-blitz” again – even sawing-up an old plywood advertising placard that had become a perfectly satisfactory home for a range of creepy-crawlies as it lay there on the grass among the gorse bushes – its very own micro-eco-system, you might say. When he moved it the other day, I guessed that he had realised it was too large for the wheelie-bin but had no idea he would trim it to size! It must be breaking his heart that he can’t move the fridge-freezer he found. Why can’t he just forget it – like he almost forgot to vac my bed today…