Dexter Dog Diary, Week One, Saturday
Saturday, (cumartesi, say; joo-maR-te-si, in Turkish), 6th March (mart, say, maRt, in Turkish)
As you will soon gather, I strongly believe that if we dogs were in charge, the world would be a better place. These humans go dashing off everywhere all the time. Mind you, although the process was a bit gruelling, the move out here to Kuzey Kibris has been great for me and my feline pal, Sonny.
Just the other day, Thursday, (perşembe, peR-shem-beh, in Turkish) these folk came round… I vaguely remember them visiting a few weeks back and thought nothing of it at the time. But, this time there was a distinctly suspicious flavour to the proceedings.
And, sure enough, my lot – Linda and John (Wiggie and Co, as I affectionately call them) – get up while it was still dark and go off among lots of coochey-cooing. Sonny and I are alone. But, when the sun was just beginning to warm up, I hear a key in the lock and there they are, the “deadly duo” from Thursday. For the diary, he has suggested that I call him “X” and her “Y”, the unknown. As you will find, these names are quite appropriate: he really is, like Brand X, an inferior product and she, quite rightly, always wants to know what he is up to and why. I detect that he is amusing himself with the thought that they could be X and Y on a graph (whatever that might be) and together form the Axes. For me, they could be “the Axis”; the enemy alliance. There is another outbreak of “coochy-cooing” and suddenly bags are being brought in to replace the ones that were taken out earlier!! I am confused and retire to “the spare room” and the comfort of my own bed.
Well, I have hardly laid myself down when X appears with my collar and lead in his hand. I have already been out earlier, but there is no mistaking his intentions. He does not yet fully realise that these fashion items are not welcome in my life. I learned to walk at a very early age and, even in my advanced years, can easily do so without assistance. However, he must have been well-briefed because he does not attempt to fit the things on to me. I take his action as a well-intended hint and off we go, up the track towards the unfinished villas on the Bahçeli (bar-che-li – the nearest village) road. We are gone for the best part of an hour; well, more than half, say, because the sun has moved round quite a bit. Almost as soon as we get back, off they go again, in the car. Confused? More than a dogfish!
They are not gone all that long. More bags, mainly plastic this time; they feed their faces then both of them drag me off, over the eastern highway, down the old coast road and down to the sea. What they find interesting there defeats me! Y is all gooey-eyed about the shells and even more so about the abundance of wild flowers of the Kuzey Kibris spring. X is whittling away at his walking stick and tries to look interested but seems more enthralled with the rubbish on the sea shore! Two hours – at least! Never mind, when we get back, sanity returns and I am fed.
More humans turn up (Tim and Helen; more of them later) – obviously not expected but clearly welcome. They stay for a cup of tea, then, off they go saying; “See you tomorrow!” These humans - always to-ing and fro-ing! And, not long after that, just as it is starting to get dark, there he is again with the lead in his hand! I ask you - can’t an old dog get any rest? Well, my prayers are answered. After their evening feed, they settle down in front of the television and peace reigns. Still no sign of Wiggie & Co., so I am not too surprised to see the “new two” settle for the night in their bed!