Dexter Dog Diary, Week One, Tuesday

Tuesday (salı – note, there is no dot on the “ hard i”- sa-luh, 9 mart, 2010)

Sonny is definitely a character: Did I tell you? Yesterday morning, he resumed his regurgitation exploits from the previous night with a gooey pile of what, until fairly recently, used to be a living creature. I keep telling him that his molly-coddled system cannot digest the odd vole. But, he never listens to me – or anyone else for that matter!

Perhaps due to the far-off threat of thunder, he is at it again this morning. With the mental agility of a table, X goes to investigate why Sonny has duffed-up the mat in the bathroom. Y says that cats often do that sort of thing in this part of the world. I suppose she thinks it is some sort of parlour-game – but in the bathroom. I know what he will find.

You see, Sonny has been around humans for so long that he is sometimes absolutely convinced that he is human. A glimpse of his feline face in the mirror would disabuse him of this fantasy. But, the mirrors are too high – and that brings us back to the main event: feeling the “call of nature”, he toddles into the bathroom. Even his amazing agility cannot allow him to leap up, raise the toilet lid, pee, and descend without injury. So, he puddles the floor between the hand-basin and the shower. Then, vents his disappointment on the nearest thing; which happens to be the mat. X is so pleased with himself for spotting it. You’d think he’d invented pee! But, credit where it is due, he makes a good job of clearing it up.

There is more twanging on the guitar once she has gone to The Acapulco. Why a hotel in Kuzey Kibris, with all its beautiful and exotic Turkish language needs to borrow a name from the Mexicans totally eludes me. But they run a “Pamper-yourself!” day, and she does deserve a bit of pampering. Far be it from me to say that she needs it, but it makes her feel like a million kuruş, which may be a long way off that many dollars, but Lefkoşa wasn’t built in a day, you know. Linguistic note: kuruş (koo-roosh) are 100 to the New Turkish Lira; Lefkoşa (lef-co-sha) is the Turkish form of Nicosia, the beautiful fortified, sadly divided, capital city of both North and South. The Greek version is more of a challenge to write, but is pronounced much the same as the Turkish.

Andres Segovia he ain’t, nor Wes Montgomery or Django Reinhardt for that matter. Try as he may it will not go right this morning – which is a good thing for me because the thunder storm has departed and I am definitely up-for-it when he suggests a leisurely stroll. He is getting the message.

As you can tell, I often ponder the various things that humans have invented. Indecision is one. This morning X cannot make up his mind which way he wants to go: up the hill again? No, we are off to the beach! Wrong! We hang a right just past the villas where Mike and Barbara live. At this point, I am really raiding the old memory bank: but I don’t let-on and trot on with confidence. He is using his stick to test the ground that has recently been flooded. This is possibly the first sensible thing that I have seen him do! Then he spoils it all by resuming his one-man litter-blitz. Baling cord this time, by the look of it: the same as litters the countryside in the UK, but black instead of orange. Perhaps it slows down UV breakdown – steady Dexter: too many TV documentaries!

The path, now more of a cautious progress forward and upward through the nearest passable gap after a civilised descent on a farm track, is getting “interesting”. To be honest, this cliff does not look too safe. I’m OK, with four feet, but I don’t think that he would make it without that stick. The pace is definitely slow because we are picking our way across some very questionable footing, down towards the stream that we have been able to hear, babbling away, to our right. It is quite pretty, in a rugged sort of a way. There are stepping stones or, to be more accurate, stones-you-can-step-on, because there is no path. My confidence is beginning to wane. The opposite bank does have potential steps but is covered with gorse and other prickly stuff. He thrashes at it with his stick and knocks the ends off some branches that look pretty dead to me. I must admit, I am not keen, but he goes first and I cannot let the canine side down, so I follow. Hmm, not too bad after all! Soon we arrive back at base.

Full of cakes and other goodies that are bound to reverse any good that the swim-and-slim session has provided, she is back. Then there is spot of lunch for them followed by a “techno” session on what she calls a “Notepad” – looks more like an overgrown flip-phone to me – then we are off to show her this morning’s discoveries.

Personally I like to have things under control – especially humans! So, whenever they do anything that I haven’t anticipated, I just play it cool. Later in the afternoon the Axes are “shaping for shopping”, as I call it. This time, it is a bit special because they are talking about “topping-up the dongle”. They seem to know less about it than I do. Everything is a bit confused and it takes me a little while to twig that I am included in this excursion. Oh happy day! I love a ride in the car.

Here is where a bit of forward planning has paid-off. Earlier, when she was going off in the car on her own, X and I were on our way out for a walk. So, I made as if to get into the car – just a little hint. There you are; even humans are trainable if you can access their brain in the right way! We drive to Karakum, on the outskirts of Girne, (geer-nay in Turkish, Kyrenia in Anglo-Greek) and park outside the Lemar supermarket. During last month’s rain, they were calling this area Lake Lemar. Apart from the food shopping, the trip is wasted for them because it is a thirty-day dongle and February (şubat – shoo-bat) has only twenty eight days this year. Not wasted for me, although I doubt if I shall get on the return trip the day after tomorrow. However, there are lots of positive vibes around concerning my impeccable behaviour – never in doubt – and, much to my amazement, nobody smashes the eggs! Another omission, “we” have forgotten to exchange the water bottles. Later, Sonny and I have a lovely peaceful evening while the X and Y go to dine with Tim and Helen.