Spin Doctor

All we see in the news today is a view that some interested party wants us to see. There must be hundreds of “spin doctors” massaging the news. We know that a “limited success” is spin-speak for an abject failure. We know that, in politics, it seems that a good policy is one that keeps you in power, regardless of the consequences for the Nation. Contrary to what you might think, I had David Cameron in mind when I started this lyric, and wondered what he would give to have a Spin Doctor who was as effective as that of his opponent.

In this song, the two musical themes carry, on the one hand, the thoughts of the governor and, on the other, those of the governed.

I don’t blame the Spin Doctor for all of our social ills or for the lack of economical access to Herceptin within the National Health Service - he simply has the job of obscuring them from public view until a “busy news day”. Unjustifiable priorities, often due to modern “political correctness” or “cronyism”, create many of our problems.

Incidentally, it is amazing how often songs coincide with events. Since completing this song, newspaper stories say that Alistair Campbell plans to publish his memoirs and obese children will be able to get their stomachs “stapled” on the NHS!

Verse 1

Spin, Mr Spin Doctor, spin me a yarn or two

Remember, from their leader, only the facts will do

He won’t let us know the truth, yet - Save it for another day

When he publishes his memoir - From a haven far away

Weave Mr Spin Doctor weave me a web of lies

Help them to believe that the sun’s shining from my eyes

Verse 2

Sleep, Mr Spin Doctor, sleep me a sea of dreams

Help them to believe that life’s much better than it seems

Nothing’s more important than our children – used to be that girls were much more sane

Equal in this age of opportunity – can wreck their lives with drinking and cocaine

Rest, Mr Spin Doctor, rest on a job well done

Now that their daughters are ignorant as their sons

Verse 3

Cry, Mr Spin Doctor, cry me a vale of tears

Tell them that I, only, can save them from all their fears

Nothing draws us closer than an enemy - He makes sure there’s always plenty there

Sadam turned out to be a sad man - Iran can be a threat that we all share

Weep, Mr Spin Doctor, weep as the mourners wail

If God is a Christian oil-man surely we cannot fail?

Verse 4

Smile, Mr Spin Doctor, smiles make the world go round

Over fed and bloated believing their health is sound

We paid to build the National Health plan – training doctors from home and abroad

Now they have the drug to fight her Cancer – but sell it at a price she can’t afford

Laugh, Mr Spin Doctor, laugh as the kids grow fat

If they don’t reach sixty, there won’t be a pension gap

Verse 5

Save, Mr Spin Doctor, save for a rainy day

Give it to my crony investing in his own pay

He made a loss but got a Golden Hand-shake – his salary was like the National Debt

He told us all that nothing was illegal – maybe we just haven’t found out yet!

Spend, Mr Spin Doctor, spend it all, more or less

Buy the island next to mine and let them sort out the mess!

Buy the Island next to mine and let them sort out the mess!